A poem about calamities

To drown. 

 

To drown in the womb. 

 

To drown in the dishwashing liquid. 

 

To drown in your sleep. 

 

To drown in your dishwashing sleep. 

 

Sleeping in the dishwashing liquid. 

 

The mist hardships. The mist hardships. 

 

To drown in the mist hardships. Misty with hardship. 

 

To drown in the mist hardships with gonorrhea and flat foot. 

 

With gonorrhea, flat foot, lice and hemorrhoids. 

 

Sleeping. 

 

To drown sleeping in hemorrhoids, awake in the mist hardships and dishwashing liquid. 

 

To choke at the bottom of a fjord. Turn blue and white. 

 

To freeze to death in the Canary Islands. When it is cold in the Canary Islands. 

 

To forget to change your underwear. 

 

To forget to bring condoms. 

 

To swallow your mouthwash. 

 

To drown in your mouthwash with an ulcer and restless leg syndrome.

 

Unable to sleep with a broken heart marinated in dishwashing liquid.

 

To drown in blood. Up on the heath. To drown up on the heath. 

 

To get food poisoning and vomiting all night. 

 

To vomit all night. Vomit condoms. Listening to babies cry all night while vomiting hemorrhoids, mouthwash and condoms. 

 

To drown in rotten skate, drown in a shot of brennivín and pickled shark. 

 

To freeze to death on the heath on a sunny day. To freeze to death and drowning. To freeze to death and choking. To have a heartattack while swimming. 

 

To have muscle spasms while swimming. 

 

To have cramps while swimming. 

 

To get stuck in the grate. While swimming. 

 

To get a shock. 

 

To get a seizure. 

 

While swimming. 

 

To drown in the middle of a seizure. To choke in the middle of a seizure. To turn red, blue, white and choking in the middle of a seizure. 

 

To not get it up. At the worst time. 

 

To not get it down. At any time. 

 

To follow it. To have it followed. To have it stung. To get it gangrenous.

 

To get your ass gangrenous. To die from hunger. To starve someone. To get kicked in the balls and starve someone. 

 

Unable to sleep because of a kick in the balls, because of hemorrhoids and a torn condom. Unable to sleep from headache. Unable to sleep from nightmares about mobbing. To get mobbed while you're unable to sleep. To get mobbed while going through a divorce. To get mobbed while you're trying to give birth. To get mobbed while having sex. To get mobbed at night. To get mobbed by your parents. Not having any place to go. Not having any place to sleep. Not being able to cuddle because then you are unable to sleep. 

 

To die. 

 

To die from a guilty conscience. 

 

To die from cancer. 

 

Your knee killing you. 

 

Both your knees killing you. 

 

To die from the waist down. 

 

To die from the neck down. 

 

To die before your time. 

 

To die too late. To linger on. To linger on with hemorrhoids and go senile. To linger on and go senile and unable to sleep. To go senile and have naughty nurses wipe your ass and clean out your bedsores with tiny little steel shovels. To die. Then to die is preferable. Then to be young and unable to sleep from worry is preferable. Then not to get it up is preferable. Then to die is preferable. 

 

To sing out of tune. To sing out of tune is bad. Pierces the ears. 

 

It is bad to grope someone who doesn't wish to be groped. It is bad to be groped when you don't want to. Bad, bad, bad. 

 

To get hit by a car is bad. To drive someone over is bad. It is bad to have to face the relatives. Bad to have to explain to your children. That daddy is a murderer. That mommy is a murderer. That we are murderers, we parents. Not everyone is a murderer, but we are murderers. It is bad to have killed someone with a knife. Bad to have shot someone in the head. Or the gut. Bad to have strangled someone, bad to have broken someone's arm, bad to have broken someone's kneecaps, feed them with feces, raped their mother and contracted her with aids. To fall and hurt yourself is bad. To push others is bad. You shouldn't push. Shouldn't contract people with aids. 

 

To get aids is bad. Bad to get ebola and the swine flu, bad to get smallpox and the spanish flu, bad to get measles, bad to get german measles and black death. Do not get the german measles and black death. Do not cause anyone else to get the german measles and black death. Be kind and careful. To be bad by mistake is easy. 

 

To drown while unable to sleep, pregnant with dysentery. Unable to sleep from worry and diarrhea. Not to get any further in Tetris, Candy Crush and Angry Birds. To lose your mind. Simply on the verge. To be aloof. Not to get further than three miles jogging. Not to benchpress more than 150. Your back hurting from the cobra position. Not to be able to touch your toes. To get fat. To get fat. To get fat. To get old and fat and alls sorts of pouches and then die a helpless invalid. A fat helpless invalid. With boogers. And syphilis from the nurse who's hopefully rotting in jail. To rot in jail. To rot in a retirement home. To rot in the grave. To die in your sleep. To choke in your sleep. 

 

To choke in an insane asylum. To believe that you're choking in an insane asylum while you are not choking in an insane asylum. Not to get out of an insane asylum. Not to get past the bars on the windows. Not to get through the steel door. To scream with all your soul and might without anybody hearing you. To give up. Unable to do more. To run straight at upholstered walls and rub your blood into the red, swollen flesh. 

 

To masturbate while crying. To fuck while crying. To get fucked while crying. To get masturbated while crying. To get a rock in the head. To be mean to others. Not to let others participate. To push others down a hill. To push them off the swing. Crying. To stuff them with sand. To stuff sand in their trousers. To masturbate alone. Alone. Alone. To get fat and masturbate alone. Over the television. Over Facebook. On the toilet. By an open window so you can hear the passersby. To moan low and wonder if anyone can hear you. To stand naked by the window for a moment hoping to get excited but not getting excited. Never to get excited. 

 

Not to have any longings. Not to have any desires. Not to love and not to hate and not to feel any emotion at all. Your longings and needs killing you. Your excitement killing you. To have a heart attack in the middle of intercourse. To have a heart attack at the beginning of intercourse. To have a heart attack afterwards. To have a heart attack home alone. Over the television. Over Facebook. On the toilet. With hemorrhoids and restless leg syndrome, unable to sleep on new years eve, the neighbor's dog having lost it and everybody getting hammered except for you, who are not found until days later. Maybe not until twelfth day. 

 

To walk funny. To look funny. With a harelip. With a burst lip and a black eye. A port wine stain. Scars and warts. A withered arm. Cataract in the eye. Uneven breasts. Crooked penis. Sagging butt. Club foot. Crooked kneecaps. Humongous nose. No chin and an overbite. Being an invalid with an ass for a face. Slouched shoulders, pectus excavatum and ingrown ball hair. 

 

With a shaved pussy and a spackled face. With a shaved face and a spackled pussy. In much too expensive clothes and much too old clothes and much too large clothes and much too precise, in a way. Much too friendly. Much too smily. Much too serious. Much too silly. Much too pretentious. Much too grandiose. Much too banal. Much too spirited. Much too slow. Much too exhausted and hyperactive. To be much too hyperactive is bad. But don't give up, don't lose hope. Anyone can hit the gym. Anyone can do yoga and meditate over the apertures of their souls. Fill up the holes. Anyone can get a six-pack. Anyone can lose pounds. Not everone can have children but everone can lose pounds. Not everyone can play the piano but everyone can get into shape.

 

And so on and so forth.  

Translation: EÖN