A sort of “torrek”

1. Sword and shield

Iceland is proud of you,
Egill Skallagrímsson!

Don’t forget September 11th,
Hallgerður Langbrók!

Mutate me,
Gunnar á Hlíðarenda!

This spring is brought to you by the greenhouse effect,
Þormóður Kolbrúnarskáld!

There are drugs at Æsufell,
Snorri Sturluson!

I can’t speak Icelandic anymore,
Leifur Eiríksson!

The hamsters have the runs,
Sæmundur Fróði!

Thy pacemaker is screeching,
Melkorka Mýrkjartansdóttir!

Women get raped in the Icelandic sagas,
Guðrún Ósvífursdóttir!

Mohammad has taken my ski poles,
Hallgrímur Pétursson!

Coconuts ain’t no cannonballs,
Gunnlaugur Ormstunga!

2. Tranquillising

We don’t pity him in the least
for being sentenced dead drunk
for beating up a brewmeister
on tranqs on New Year’s Eve

Conquering onself and being free
inspected on valid numberplates
stiff-shaven with beehive hair
on tranqs on New Year’s Eve

Look at the Fell-district: Foreigners on drugs
red-eyed wet-eyed fibbing
to their parents in two languages
on tranqs on New Year’s Eve

3. How far can you flog a dead Icelander

The phrases of flogging one’s own countrymen, or beating Icelanders, are used in two contexts. The primary meaning is to ‘excuse or cover up someone’s faults’, for instance “The mother always tried to flog Icelanders when her son was concerned.” Secondarily, the meaning is to try to ‘make the best of something’, for instance “The company board attempted to beat their compatriots when presenting the report.”

Translation by Ágústa Flosadóttir